I have goals, I have a future, most importantly I have confidence. I’m not afraid anymore.
You came to my school sometime in April this year. I had recently gotten out of the hospital after a failed suicide attempt, and then a relapse of self harm. When I met you I was a complete mess and that’s an understatement. I found out I was bipolar. I struggled with my road to recovery. The worst was the panic and anxiety attacks, I would hit myself, pull my hair out and scream that I wanted to die.
Looking at me now you wouldn’t think I was the same person. It was February 28th 2016 when I tried to kill myself, it is now August 24th 2016. That’s almost 6 months. I have goals, I have a future, most importantly I have confidence. I`m not afraid anymore.
When I first heard you were speaking at my school I thought “oh great another person hear to preach at me about how I’m worth it, how much I’m loved…. blah blah blah” I`m sorry to say but at first I was not interested at all. But when I met you, I knew something different was going to happen. Throughout your presentation you talked about drinking, drugs, mental illness and self harm. All of these things applied to me (notice I used past tense) I did drink , smoke pot and lets just say I wasn’t the most stable in the mental department. This all changed when I moved into my grandparents house. You also talked about self worth, which again related to me. I wasn’t confident, I constantly wanted to impress others, I wanted to be skinny so guys would pay attention to me, I wanted to be smart so my parents would love me.
You’re presentation set off a spark, I started working harder. Not for the people around me, friends, family, boys, no I was doing it for me. Because finally I discovered my voice, no longer would I let people walk all over me, let my parents judge me and criticize me, or let boys decide my worth on a 1-10 scale. I learned how to stick up for myself and what I believe in, so when people make jokes about mental illness, self harm, the handicapable….I no longer hide with nervous laughter. I stick up for those who don’t have a voice or haven’t found there’s yet.
I believe in myself, I can do anything I put my mind to. My plans for the future change often, but I have found a few that might become a reality.
- go to Vancouver acting school, school creative, study as an actor, give it a year. if nothing works out I will go to cold lake and train in the military from there on become a doctor.
- study in criminal behavior and become a police officer
- become a journalist and work as a professional speaker
- become a counsellor and possibly a psychiatrist
My dreams may be mediocre or average but I don’t care because each one has something I`m passionate about involved. This is my story and I thought since you are one of the most inspirational people I have ever had the pleasure of talking to. You helped me and believed in me when even I didn’t.
After your Presentation, when everyone was gone. I was crying, when I came up to you, you hugged me and told me to stay strong and never give up. Today I live by those words.
I have gotten my life under control. my anxiety is still there of course, and so is my bipolar…..but now I don’t let it control me or the decisions I make.
Thank you so much Mr. peace,
I’ll keep in touch
Sincerely,
The girl who was inspired (Grade 11)