The Villager October 2019
Funding for schools continues into 2020!!!!!
Book winter/spring dates for 2019-20 school year now
Student days, parent sessions, and P.D. Days.
Vaping
Due to the recent medical issues that have arisen in the media both in the US and Canada I have moved the information about vaping from my session, “The Truth About Cannabis and other Drugs” and added it to the most requested session, “Life’s Challenges in Secondary School.” This decision was done based on how to get this information to the students in the quickest amount of time.
Initially, ENDS (Electronic Nicotine Delivery Systems) were developed to assist smokers in their efforts to stop smoking. Research indicated that if this occurred within one month then it was a success. If the use of ENDS went longer than a month then the user was simply changing one addiction for another.
As of October 15, 2019, 1,479 lung injury cases associated with the use of e-cigarette, or vaping, products have been reported to CDC from 49 states in the US and 33 deaths in 24 states.
Data on age and sex was only acquired on 1,358 of these people.
- 70% of patients are male.
- 79% of patients are under 35 years old.
By age group category:
- 15% of patients are under 18 years old;
- 21% of patients are 18 to 20 years old;
- 18% of patients are 21 to 24 years old;
- 25% of patients are 25 to 34 years old; and
- 21% of patients are 35 years or older.
In Canada, several lung related issues have been reported with no confirmed deaths, yet.
As many of us are aware nicotine is the addictive quality of tobacco and vaping. Nicotine is a stimulant drug that speeds up the messages travelling between the brain and body. It is at least as difficult to give up as heroin.
Nicotine salt is a chemical formulation of nicotine that decreases its harshness, allowing vapers to comfortably get more nicotine while inhaling less vapor. This is the reason you see nicotine strengths jumping from 3 mg and 6 mg to 25 mg or even 60 mg in online shops.
A study last year in Alberta indicated that people that vape are twice as likely to start smoking and the first time in a number of years the rate of smokers increased.
A Little Vaping Rant:
I would suggest that if you were to relate the first death that occurred due to tobacco use to the first death due to vaping, the timeline would be significantly shorter with vaping. If this is true, then we will witness multiple deaths every week in the US for many years to come and shortly a smaller number of weekly deaths in Canada.
A study done a few years ago with mice and vaping showed that the inner lining of the lungs was destroyed with vaping. This occurred whether there was nicotine in the solution or no nicotine. Research is showing that when the liquid is heated it is creating new chemicals that were not in the original solution.
With this in mind please consider the increased medical costs associate with vaping. In 2012, Canada estimated tobacco use cost tax payers $6.5 billion in direct health care costs and $16.2 billion in total economic costs, including hospital costs, physicians, and prescription medications. What will this cost be for vaping? The question that remains to be asked is why? Why does any government sanction a product that has already been shown to create this damage in people, including deaths in the US, of all ages. If it is strictly used to assist someone with not smoking that is a victory. However, to put a plan in place to reduce youth usage when there should not be any usage at all, with the above exception, seems to be a neglectful plan.
I do expand on the above information when I am speaking in schools. I look forward to any opportunity of working in your communities.
Scholarship Recipient
Another year and a few more doors have opened with a few successes as well. In June, Jacqueline and I had the pleasure of driving to Medicine Hat, AB to meet with a Graduating student whom was driving 4.0 hours from Biggar, SK to meet with us. The request was to do a video interview based on her experience in the Part 2 small group session. She did not realize she was about to receive a cheque for $2,165.00 from the charity, “Thumb Switch for Life” that my wife and I established in 2017 to go towards her fees at the University of Regina. Savana is the first of many students that will be receiving scholarships from our charity over the years to come.
If you or anyone you knows would like to assist us in making life easier for some students through this charity both through scholarships and offsetting costs to schools, contact us so we can have further conversation to ensure that this works for all involved. See the charities latest initiative 247 – 365 later in this newsletter.
Upcoming Event
I have the honour of presenting at the 6th annual Fast and Female Summit on November 3rd at WinSport in Calgary. I will be speaking to coaches and parents of young female athletes. If you have not heard of this event please feel free to check it out and register. www.fastandfemale.com
Welcome:
We would like to welcome and thank ADMCo for getting involved in the above initiative. Jordan, Nathan and Jon see value in the work we do and are stepping up to support the youth of Canada. ADMCo (Alberta Digital Mining Company Inc.) is an Alberta based cryptocurrency mining company that is focused on securing bitcoin/altcoin networks to help facilitate the blockchain revolution. Their involvement will increase the scholarship funds available for the winning student(s) and assist in decreasing the fees to qualifying schools.
We would also like to Welcome Brittany Veenhuysen to our team. She will be working with me on the Social Media aspect of the business. I am really excited to continue my work with Brittany as she was also the editor of my book.
New Initiative for Thumb Switch Charity:
A new video describing “Thumb Switch” has been added to the charity website (click here) for anyone who does not know what a “thumb switch” means.
A new initiative was launched in March called 24/7 – 365. This relates to what many people reference as 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year. The challenge is to raise money for scholarships and assist qualified schools funding for qualified youth programs.
24/7 – 24 corporations, businesses, foundations, families offer support for $700.00 to $7000.00. When this is achieved it would allow scholarships for deserving students to go from $1,680.00 to $16,800.00 and would allow qualified schools access to $250.00 – $750.00 per day for youth programs.
365 – $300.00 from 65 businesses, foundations, families or individuals. This would create an additional $1,950.00 for scholarships and qualified schools access to $250.00 per day for youth programs.
I hope you will spread the word and align yourself or company in this very worthwhile cause.
Gaming:
GRAND THEFT AUTO – San Andreas: Rated 18+
If you have attended one of my parent sessions this is the GTA game I talk about during the parent session where you can kill up to 12 police officers, put on the uniform of a police officer, grab the keys to a police car, hop in the car and drive away. The case I refer to involved Devin Moore who stated in the police station, “Life is a video game. You’ve got to die sometime.” He then grabbed the handgun of one of the police officers and shot its owner, another police officer and a dispatcher in a Fayette, Alabama police station before getting into the police car and driving away. Sentenced to death by lethal injection and is presently on death row.
Review: Common Sense Media
Parents need to know that this game is raunchy and violent and portrays just about every deviant act that a criminal could think of in full, living 3-D graphics. Players participate in drive-by shootings, deliver prostitutes to their johns, kill mob bosses, hijack vehicles, and learn to operate within the criminal world.
The star rating given to this game is based on quality of gameplay within this adult genre of video gaming and is not an endorsement of the violence within the game.
In this game players must run, gun, and drive through a bustling city to perform missions such as knocking off a mob boss or preventing a truckload of ammunition from reaching its destination. Gamers play as Carl “CJ” Johnson, a young man who returns to the slums to avenge his mother’s murder with the help of his old gang. New gameplay features to the Grand Theft Auto series require players to perfect certain skills over time, such as hand-to-hand combat and driving. You must also earn “respect” with each mission; the more you gain, the more likely gang members will help you on missions.
Without question, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas isn’t for kids because of its graphic violence, sex, and coarse language, but mature fans of this 32 million-unit-selling franchise who want to know if this sequel lives up to its hype, the answer is a resounding yes. Few video games pull off everything successfully, but San Andreas does so in spades. Indeed, this mature-rated game may be deemed offensive for its depiction of life as a “gangbanger,” but if taken for what it is — an interactive action-adventure for adult gamers — you won’t find a title that’s more difficult to put down.
A decision for parents to make now or in the future depending on the age of your children.
NEW ADDITION:
“Parenting with Eyes Wide Open” was finished and printed in July, 2018. At the request of parents, “Your Thumb Switch Study Guide to Permanent Change” has been developed to further assist parents. This will provide a platform for parents to come together and discuss what seems to work and what doesn’t within their family and communities.
The Parent Study Guide will be available starting on November 1, 2019 through the website www.lifesynergy4youth.com . The price is $14.95 per Study Guide, plus GST and $10.00 S&H for one or multiples of two books. It has been suggested that each parent should have their own study guide to create a deeper and more meaningful conversation after each chapter is completed. As is with the original book, the best deal will be at the parent sessions. It will be $10.00 per book, GST included. The original book will still be available at parent sessions for $20.00 per book, GST included.
Testimonials of the month:
After going through the Thumb Switch Study Guide together, we noticed it opened the door to a lot of communication about our children regarding topics we hadn’t previously considered. It got us thinking, feeling and talking, about things we notice with each of our children, and in turn how we have handled it in the past and/or could handle it in the future. It encouraged us to look ahead to situations that are in our not so distant future, that we hadn’t even begun to consider, and make preparations for how we plan to handle them.
Our kids fill our days with busy schedules and add an element of chaos. We so often take the stance of “divide and conquer” just to share the load and make sure everyone’s needs are met. Reviewing this together gave us the opportunity to reflect on our parenting strategies as a team. We were able to share ideas and honestly discuss what we felt was effective and what needed to change. We immediately noticed growth within our relationship as a couple. We found that the prompts in the Thumb Switch guide led us into a conversation we hadn’t had before. Sharing the common goal of safer, happier, healthier children enabled through our support and actions made us feel connected in a way we hadn’t felt prior to having this conversation. Thanks for the opportunity!
Robin – Acting Lieutenant, Calgary Fire Department (Dad) and Angie – Financial Planner (Mom)
The Villager May 2019
DON’T WAIT!!!!!
Book dates for 2019-20 school year now
Student days, parent sessions, and P.D. Days.
Blended Families / Step Parents
Over a number of years I have come in contact with many adults whom have remarried, where both adults bring children together or where only one adult had children before the marriage. On a few occasions I am aware of the marriages not surviving this enormous transition and change.
Step-parents: When I went through my divorce my lawyer provided me with the following information. As a step-parent you have the same rights as a teacher. To provide a safe and secure environment for the children and assist where you can but that by law, you are not supposed to be involved in deciding what the discipline should be when the child makes a poor decision. I don’t agree with this as my wife is a step-parent to my three sons. When something happened that required disciplinary action I would state, to my wife alone, that these three consequences are what I was going to impose upon the boys. She would disagree and state that was too much and would suggest the two that she felt was most appropriate out of the three I had mentioned. So in many cases she would save my three sons. I would then let the boys know what the consequences were for their actions.
Where most families fail is that the step-parent administers the consequences. In several of these stories that have come to my attention it is the father in many of these cases who is like Disneyland Dad. Everything is play and fun with little or no consequences for the child’s actions. The spouse with no children, who married into this family, knows that this is not good for the children as they see them growing up and becoming in many cases and uncontrollable terror within the family tree with little or no respect for others, including the biological parent. Unfortunately, in several cases, these marriages have ended in divorce.
Please remember it is the biological parent’s responsibility to administer the consequences. If the step-parent is always playing the role of the bad cop then you are setting that relationship up for failure.
I understand some of the reasoning behind the biological parent not wanting to be the bad cop. Many are afraid that if they are always administering the consequences that their child or children will leave them and go to the ex-spouse. This obviously has implications around custody, child support, etc.. However, you signed up to be a parent, you need to step up and be that parent.
When both spouses are bringing children into the marriage, the issues I have seen is adults take sides with their biological child and blame the child of the other spouse. This is like going back to elementary or middle school. If this occurs my suggestion would be to focus on the situation, the issue, or the behaviour but not the person. In most cases this allows the situation to be dealt with effectively without any one person feeling attacked. This includes the children and the spouse.
Resolution: Both adults need to be on the same page and agree what the consequences should be before they are administered. If you are not constantly united and in agreement with each other, the children will see which parent is the softer or the easier one and gravitate to that parent which can create further issues within the family. There is nothing saying that the consequences have to occur right after the incident occurs. Take time to think about the situation, issue or behaviour before both of you decide what the appropriate consequence should be.
Once the children realize that both adults are on the same page then they will start to find their new normal and what adjustments they need to make to create the best environment for all involved knowing they can’t play one parent against the other.
New Initiative for Thumb Switch Charity:
A new video describing “Thumb Switch” has been added to the website for anyone who has not attended a parent session or may have had to leave early.
A new initiative was launched in March called 24/7 – 365. This relates to what many people reference as 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year. The challenge is to raise money for scholarships and assist qualified schools funding for qualified youth programs.
24/7 – 24 corporations, businesses, foundations, families offer support for $7,000.00 to $700.00. When this is achieved it would allow scholarships for deserving students to go from $1,680.00 to $16,800.00 and would allow qualified schools access to $250.00 – $750.00 per day for youth programs.
365 – $300.00 from 65 businesses, foundations, families or individuals. This would create an additional $1,950.00 for scholarships and qualified schools access to $250.00 per day for youth programs.
I hope you will spread the word and align yourself or company in this very worthwhile cause.
Gaming:
Source – Family Zone
FORTNITE: It’s been called Hunger Games meets Call of Duty. So it’s little wonder that, upon its recent release as a free download, Fortnite: Battle Royale has blown away its competitors to become one of the most popular games on earth – praised and criticised in equal measure for its addictive qualities by both kids and adults.
But is it right for your child?
The Guardian describes Battle Royale this way:
It’s a mass online brawl where 100 players leap out of a plane on to a small island and then fight each other until only one is left. Hidden around the island are weapons and items, including crossbows, rifles and grenade launchers, and players must arm themselves while exploring the landscape and buildings. It’s also possible to collect resources that allow you to build structures where you can hide or defend yourself. As the match progresses, the playable area of land is continually reduced, so participants are forced closer and closer together. The last survivor is the winner.
Users can play by themselves or in a group of up to three other users. Live chat with teammates is a central part of the game on certain platforms (see below). Winners are rewarded with ‘V-coins’ that can be used to update weapon skins and other cosmetics. Users can also purchase the coins using real money.
Free and unverified
To create an account, all kids need is an email address. Because Battle Royale is a free game within the larger, pay-wall-protected Fortnite ‘world’, no payment is required – but players are prodded to make in-game purchases for extensions, bonuses and weapons.
Although there is no age-verification procedure, Fortnite: Battle Royale has been variously rated 12+ or 13+ (depending on the rating agency and country) on the basis of “mild violence.” And the simulated killing is indeed relatively lo-fi: no blood, no gore, and no screams of agony. When characters are blown away by gun violence, they simply disappear.
What about chat?
Online chat on Battle Royale means your child can be exposed to chatter from strangers of all ages. The mobile version wasn’t designed for chat but if your child has an XBox app, he will be able to access that risky function. There is a chat feature for the Xbox, PlayStation, PC, and Mac versions, which make the game more problematic on those platforms.
Pornification
Fortnite: Battle Royale has spawned a substantial online pornography presence, and has recently claimed the dubious rank of the number-one most-searched game on Pornhub.
To be clear, Fortnite porn is not embedded within the game itself, and in fact violates the game’s code of conduct, but has been created and is being shared widely by players on sites like Pornhub and Twitch.
This process of pornification is not unique to Fortnite. Characters from many popular games – and even shapes from Minecraft, if you can believe it – have been co-opted by pornographers, both of the DIY and the professional variety.
Will your child encounter porn if he or she stays within the confines of the game? No. But then again, staying within the confines of the game is not what gamers necessarily do in today’s infinitely tentacled online world.
On the plus side
Fortnite: Battle Royale is not without redeeming features. Playing the game well requires strategic thinking and creativity, as Minecraft-like functionality invites players to design and build fortifications (hence the “fort” in Fortnite).
But is it true, as some parents have maintained, that Battle Royale is the 2018 version of Minecraft – i.e., really just a digital version of playing Lego?
Experts agree that would be a stretch.
The game certainly shares Minecraft’s addictive qualities. And that means it’s super-fun to play. But that very quality can also spell trouble.
“This game is keeping some teens up all night,” notes one frustrated high school teacher. “Make sure you have time restraints and kids who can put it down. There are kids turning the corner towards an unhealthy addiction for Fortnite.”
The verdict?
So what do the experts recommend?
“Fortnite is an unequivocal NO for primary-school-aged children and should be played with care and a good dose of parental supervision for older teens,” advises Family Zone Cyber Expert Susan McLean.
“Any game with a chat function is a worry and has the potential to link your child with random strangers. The potential for abuse and exploitation – not to mention exposure to offensive language – cannot be overstated.”
In the words of another reviewer, “The game might be clean, but the gamers might not.”
Still uncertain?
If you’re unsure whether to allow your child to play Fortnite: Battle Royale, why not start with a conversation – and ask for a demonstration? Family Zone cyber experts agree: The very best way to protect your child is to be involved in his or her online world.
“Parenting with Eyes Wide Open” was finished and printed in July, 2018. The response has been overwhelming and humbling. At the request of parents a Study Guidebook is being developed to further assist parents. This will provide a platform for parents to come together and discuss what seems to work and what doesn’t within their communities.
I was recently in a Northern Alberta community where 48 parents attended and 45 books were sold. Thank you! The book is available on Kindle, through the website www.lifesynergy4youth.com, and at Indigo located on 130th Ave S.E. Calgary. The best deal is at the parent session which is $20.00 per book, GST included.
Testimonials of the month:
I just wanna thank you for everything you and your program did for me. Back when I was in junior high and struggling with the new transition into Jr. High, the things you brought up really changed my views. I’d always been outgoing and expressive but also got teased a lot. After you came to our school and we did those little group sessions I realized that what others thought didn’t matter. I am who I am and there’s nothing to be ashamed of for it. I carried these thoughts onward and developed then over the years to a point today where I don’t let the bullies get to me anymore and I’m the man who will stand up for the weak.
I had a really toxic relationship with a girl a few months back and it took me a long time to escape her grasp but then to also get myself out of the mindset that I needed her. That’s when I messaged you because I thought if the things you taught us way back when and I realized that I needed to make a change. I needed to do a “thumb switch” as you called it (fwi I literally did the whole thumb switching thing with my hands xD). Afterwards I felt a lot better about myself and I really felt a burden lifted. I was able to really appreciate those I had and I even got a new girlfriend who loves me greatly and sincerely
In case you’re curious about how I turned out, I graduated high school last year as a valedictorian candidate who won a bowling scholarship and the max grant from Alexander Rutherford. I’m currently attending Mount Royal University taking a computer science undergrad. My main goal though is going to the military to become an officer in the armoured division. I realized that I wanted to help those who needed me, stand up against the bullies and that over the years since you came I’ve built up a natural leadership role and stronger character to where I’m willing to make the decisions nobody else will because they’re hard.
Do I know where I would be without the Life Synergy for Youth program, no. One thing I do know is that it really inspired me and changed me way down to my core and I have you mostly to thank for that. If you ever wanna go grab a coffee or something and share stories I would be happy to hear from you and talk face to face to the man that changed me. Thanks for everything Dwayne, take care.
University Student – male
Villager February 2019
Legalization and the sky is not falling……..YET!!!!!
It was the Canadian Medical Assoc. Journal that stated the legalization of Cannabis in Canada is a, “National, uncontrolled experiment” that pits the profits of cannabis producers and government tax revenues against the health of Canadians.
The analogy I have been using with legalization is, “It is like building a plane while you are flying it.” It sounds exciting to some, but probably isn’t going to end well for everyone over the long haul.
While presenting, “The Truth About Cannabis and other Drugs”, I can’t let the audience know what the consequences will be if charges are laid. Unfortunately, it is going to take a few years to get this through the court system when looking at the sentencing and appeal process for people that are charged with various offences such as providing Cannabis to minors.
To be clear I do not have a problem with the legalization of CBD which is more of the medical qualities. You can’t get high from CBD’s. The THC in Cannabis is the substance that provides the high and the consequences of this will be felt for generations by some families and society.
When I ask students in an assembly how many of them are concerned about the legalization of Cannabis between 70 – 80% of the hands go up. This seems to be a shock to many in attendance.
They compare it to alcohol however, I am not sure alcohol was so great for our society. I speak in First Nations communities and the devastation due to alcoholism that has occurred in some of these communities is really sad, especially for the youth.
I believe you would appreciate my position if you were with me during my investigations of assaults, sexual assaults, and deaths that occurred due to alcohol or it being a secondary cause. Also, taking into account the impaired driving causing injury or death, which I witnessed first hand on many occasions when I was an investigating officer of fatal motor vehicle accidents. During my years as a police officer and as a professional speaker, I have become aware of so many marriages that have ended due to alcohol related issues or other addictions.
The Government of Canada is aware that Neuroscientists recommended the age for legalization at 25 years because the prefrontal cortex of the brain is not fully developed until 24 to 25 years of age.
In Colorado and Washington, even though the age is 21, it is having an impact in the schools. Colorado put aside almost 10 million dollars from the cannabis tax revenue for school education and addiction programs.
We have enough addiction issues in our world. Why add one more? Parents need to be very clear on their position with this topic and strongly voice their opinion whether are for it or against it.
October 17, 2019 is the date when Canada will
introduce edibles into our communities.
New Initiative for Thumb Switch Charity:
A new initiative will be launched later this month called 24/7 – 365. This relates to what many people reference as 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year. The challenge is to raise money for student scholarships and assist schools in hosting qualified youth programs.
24/7 – 24 corporations, businesses, foundations, families offer support for $7,000.00 to $700.00. When this is achieved it would allow scholarships for deserving students to go from $1,680.00 to $16,800.00 and would allow qualified schools access to $250.00 – $750.00 per day for youth programs.
365 – $300.00 from 65 businesses, foundations, families or individuals. This would create an additional $1,950.00 for scholarships and qualified schools access to $250.00 per day for youth programs.
I hope you will spread the word and align yourself or company in this very worthwhile cause.
Gaming:
Roblox has been called “the world’s most popular game you’ve never heard of.” In fact, this massive multiplayer online game has recently outstripped even Minecraft’s user numbers. While the game may seem like an innocent digital playground for children, there are some frightening issues with its online community.
What is Roblox about?
Roblox is a vast online platform where kids can create and interact in what its makers describe as “immersive 3D worlds.” Players are given the opportunity to create an avatar (player) for themselves and allotted a small amount of digital money to rent a house. Money to furnish and decorate the house requires real world money, with costs adding up fast. A variety of different outfits are also available to purchase which is a huge drawcard for many young children who want to make their avatar look as cool as possible. Players who don’t buy upgrades may be mocked by other players and pressured into spending more.
Why is it such a risk to children?
Additional purchases are not the biggest issue with this game – the social interaction amongst players is. The purpose of Roblox is for players to interact and make friends. This is achieved by wandering around the online world and stopping to talk with other players within an unmoderated chat feature. Like any online multiplayer game, there is little to no control over the types of people or age limits of those playing the game. Despite the fact that strict chat filters can be activated – blocking inappropriate words and phrases – children are still susceptible to being targeted by online predators.
This problem isn’t unique to Roblox. Far from it. Throughout the online gaming world, wherever games are marketed to children, online predators lurk. Social games like this are often used as a platform to lure children away from the game and onto other platforms: eg., Facebook, Snapchat and even in some cases Skype. Roblox appeals directly to children under 12, easy targets who lack the ability to discriminate between appropriate and inappropriate requests.
The game invites players to explore imaginary worlds of all kinds. Some of these are sexual in nature. One British dad who decided to check out the game his sons were obsessed with was shocked to discover avatars having virtual sex, ABC News reported in 2017.
“The chat function poses a real danger to children playing this popular game,” explains Safe psychologist Jordan Foster, a leading Cyber Expert at Family Zone. “With limited safety measures embedded within the game, children are open prey for predators to communicate with.
“Consider it similar to sending a child out into a real room filled with strangers, with no barriers in place to stop people being able to talk to whomever they like.’
For these reasons, Ms. Foster regards Roblox as unsafe for children under the age of 12 and possibly older children as well.
Source – Family Zone
“Parenting with Eyes Wide Open” was finished and printed in July, 2018. The response has been overwhelming and humbling. At the request of parents and school administrators, a study guidebook has been developed and is presently in the editing stage. This will provide a platform for parents to come together and discuss what seems to work and what doesn’t within their communities. Our readers are excited about this additional support to the book.
The book is available on Kindle, through the website
www.lifesynergy4youth.com,
and at Indigo located on 130th Ave S.E. Calgary. The best deal is at the parent session which
is $20.00 per book, GST included.
Testimonials of the month:
Thank you Sheryl! Your T.H.I.N.K. Day presentation was great, and was exactly what our students needed. You are so personable and it was great to see how you were able to connect with my students and teachers right away. Your message really hit home with some of our students and got them thinking about their actions. Hopefully we can do it again next year and add on more for our other grades and parents.
Krista Bartlett
Assistant Principal, Woodman School
Calgary Board of Education | www.cbe.ab.ca
Thank you for your presentation last night. There was many times that we all had our, “Eyes Wide Open” in hearing the information you presented and how it related to each of our own family situations. I think everyone took away a key note that they will use to improve their own lives and better yet, the lives of our children. You are doing an awesome job at standing up for our youth and “telling it like it is” so I hope that you never stop presenting/communicating this type of information to us all. Tell your wife and kids “thanks” for letting you travel to do this!!
………… Dad of high school student
“Thank you for such an amazing talk. Amazing and drugs is not typically words I would use together positively in a sentence but your presentation on drugs was amazing!”
……….. A Mom
The Villager November 2018
Children, their parents and suicide….
There is a trend which I am witnessing, and that is when a child comes forward with their thoughts of suicide the last thing they want is for their parents to find out. As we know, legally this is not an option, and the parents are notified. The reason youth don’t want their parent to know is simple. Based on their past experiences, they anticipate that all of the relatives and family friends will be told. This is not what they want nor need. They need you to be there for them and not broadcast it.
Some students say that their parents won’t take it seriously and, in some cases, I have seen that this is an accurate assessment. Whether you see it as a cry for help or attention, the consequences of being wrong could be life ending for the child and life altering for all involved. This is one of those times where they need you the most as they believe, in many cases; if they died nobody would notice. This is a time to remain calm and not overreact. A serious adult like conversation needs to occur between the child and the parents to discover what is causing the distress. Sometimes professional help is required facilitate a healthy conversation. Aren’t our kids worth it?
Goal update – In December of 2016 I challenged myself to bench 300lbs before I turn 60. On September 11 of 2017 I was able to bench 300lbs twice. My new goal became 315lbs equalling my personal best. On May 11, I benched 315lbs and then 320lbs my new personal best. Unfortunately, on Father’s Day I was in the hospital having emergency abdominal surgery. I am now back in the weight room setting new goals weekly working to get back up into the 300lb area before I turn 60.
Police Humour:
When told, 20 year old Alex of Hunt Street, that a woman had identified him as one of three men who burst into an apartment on Court Street last Saturday night and the held the occupants at gunpoint, he said that was impossible.
“How could she tell it was me? I had a mask on,” he reportedly told police.
6 Reasons Why I Got Into Law Enforcement:
- I hate sleep
- I love to work holidays
- I can’t live without stress
- I love being underpaid
- I wanted to have a disturbed family life
- I didn’t want to hang out with my friends anymore
“Parenting with Eyes Wide Open” was finished and printed in July, 2018. The response has been overwhelming and humbling. After receiving many requests from parents, teaching professionals and others with an invested interest in youth, a study guide is being developed to further assist readers. This will provide a platform for parents to come together and discuss what seems to work and what doesn’t within their communities.
Recently I was presenting to schools within Cold Lake and Bonnyville, and had the opportunity to present two parent sessions with a total of approximately 60 people. Attendees were purchasing two or three books so they could share with others. It was overwhelming to receive such a positive response. Thank you! The book is available on Kindle; through the website www.lifesynergy4youth.com; and at Indigo located on 130th Ave S.E. Calgary. The best deal is to purchase a book at a parent session which is $20.00 per book, GST included.
Testimonials of the month:
This powerful day provides students and staff with information that can help transform the culture in any school and community. Through our words and actions, we have the ability to make a positive difference in our families, our school and our community.
Some comments about THINK Day:
“The philosophy of THINK is empowering and I think that the more we can educate children on the reality of the world they live in, the better.” Teacher
“Something that stuck with the students was that if the bystanders intervened, then bullying/fighting would not happen.” Teacher
“I feel that Sheryl did a great job making it real for the students and giving a face to the victims of bullying and the impact it can have on a community.” Teacher
“She (Sheryl) really gets into it. She doesn’t just say ‘don’t bully’. You can tell she really cares about it.” Student
I absolutely love your book and I couldn’t put it down. I read it while I was on holidays and I am reading it a second time. I am bending over pages and highlighting areas of the book. This book really spoke to me as a parent and made me think about my childhood. Every parent needs to read this book. You really put yourself out there in this book. Thank you for doing this for us. I am a better parent already as a result of this book.
Mom of three
Empathy changing school culture
Dwayne Peace first came to our school in November 2016. At the time, we were struggling with the mental health of our students. In the first three months of the school year, we had eight students hospitalized due to suicidal ideation. Dwayne’s school assembly presentation “Life’s Challenges in Secondary School” had a huge impact on the student body and the mental health of our school. The three hour presentation captivated the entire audience, and allowed students and homeroom classes to identify areas that they need to work on in the weeks and months to follow. Students overwhelmingly agreed that all high school students need to hear this message! The presentation was well suited for grade 7-12 students. In the following days, all of our students took part in a small group session which I would recommend to all grade 9-12 students. Students strongly agreed that the small groups had an impact on how they view themselves, their friends, and all the other students in the school. The level of empathy in the school increased dramatically. As an administrator, I was pleasantly surprised with the impact staff taking part in the small groups had on improving the positive relationships between staff and students. Overall, Dwayne’s presentation substantially contributed to the change in our school culture from being on the edge and being reactive to being proactive with various mental health programs. Dwayne continues to work with the school and parents in our community.
Thanks Dwayne!
Saskatchewan Principal
Stress, depression and anxiety
I am attending more and more schools where a high percentage of students are struggling with anxiety and depression. A couple of years ago I shared the study from Duke University and I think it warrants looking at it again.
Before I share that research, as parents we need to be aware of how much time our children are spending in their bedrooms. When adults suffer with depression they will spend most of their time in their house and too many hours lying in bed. Research indicates that this is when we need to get out of the bedroom and the house and spend face to face time with our social network of friends. I don’t think that it is any different with todays’ youth and young adults. During my assembly, I ask students to raise their hands if they spend too much time in bed; usually over 30% of the hands go up. I tell them to get out of the bedroom, as it is for sleeping, go to the kitchen or living room and engage with your family.
Researchers took a group of 156 people that were suffering with depression and separated them into three groups. One group was given medication, the second group a combination of medication and an exercise program, and the third group only an exercise program. The exercise was three times a week and only 45 minutes per session. The study continued for 4 months and when they were done all three groups were fairly equal in the level of success that they had attained. After the study was completed, researchers returned six months later to follow up with the participants. Some people had dropped off but there was enough for the study to be valid.
Group #1 (medication only) – 38% had fallen back into depression
Group #2 (medication and exercise) – 31% had fallen back into depression
Group #3 – (exercise only) – 8% had fallen back into depression
Physical activity is not only for the body but also the mind and the spirit. When we exercise our bodies release endorphins which directly affect our mood. What are endorphins? They are a group of hormones released within the brain; in large amounts they can make you feel relaxed or rejuvenated, basically feel good.
What do you have to do? They hardest part is getting started, getting moving. Here are a few ideas, a brisk daily walk, going to a gym, joining a group exercise class, a bike ride, a jog. Whatever you do make it part of your daily or weekly routine.
Research has proven that what we eat directly correlates with how we feel. Have you ever eaten or drank something and afterwards you feel blah or crappy, and you think why did I do that? That’s your body talking to you. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day as it has been many hours since we last ate. Nourishing our bodies with the right food will give us the energy to take on what life gives us.
Sleep, too much or too little sleep can cause imbalance. Restful sleep is key as adults require 7-9 hours and school-age children require 9-11 hours. Teens require 8-10 hours but try telling them that, might explain why they can sleep till noon on the weekends. But sleep is food for the brain, it can help you to eat better and manage stress. So how do we get a good sleep? Nutrition, physical activity, meditation or “me time”. The National Sleep Foundation has a good article worth the read, titled Teens and Sleep. https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/teens-and-sleep
Being the inspiration for someone else can be rejuvenating, it takes the focus off ourselves. When we become focused on someone else, we can forget about our own challenges for a while. Make a difference in the world even if it’s in a small way. A man by the name of Ghandi once said “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in others.”
Maintaining balance is giving time to all aspects of your life: spiritual, emotional, family, career, physical, mental. It’s easy to allow one area to slowly takeover the others and be out of balance. The point is our kids, as well as ourselves, need to be aware that it is a combination of the above things. Start with one aspect of maintaining balance and then build on it. It is a process, be kind to yourself.
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ―C. S. Lewis
Coming soon:
We have started an Instagram page; so far we are posting positive sayings and encouragement. Check us out at lifesynergy4youth
You can also check out our Facebook page
Police Humour – New Police Interrogation Technique
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a line-up.
When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words, ‘Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,’ the man shouted, ‘That’s not what I said!’
Family time:
Based on the depression and anxiety information provided at the beginning of this newsletter I feel that maybe the family time tip needs to be activity based. Depending what’s available in your area, go skating during public ice time, a bike ride, walk, a hike, check out a local event in your area or a day trip to another town. Get them out of the bedroom.
Testimonial of the month:
I attended your drug talk last night. I also work on the acute psychiatric wards at our local Wellness Institute and would like very much to share some of your information with our acute clients many of whom endorse cannabis as good for their mental health. I thought your information was very powerful and easy to understand. Some of our service users self-medicate with it and worsen their condition. Some belief that cannabis is healthier than cigarettes. Often they see no connection between increased use and admission to hospital for psychosis.
I would greatly appreciate if you would send me some information from your talk such as the photograph of the man showing the equivalence of cigarettes to one joint and the graphs with the threshold levels changing and gateway to other drug use. I will also forward your contact to the Turning Point and Child and Adolescent services so they can access you online.
I would like to thank you for speaking to my children. They are well versed in knowing not to take drugs given Mum’s work… they don’t want to become one of Mum’s patients. My son told me last night ‘I’ll never take drugs’ this was a relief to hear as I was concerned that he was beginning to believe that cannabis was safer than cigarettes (they hear and see fake facts depicted on the internet) and that perhaps vaping was ok. He was even beginning to question the advice and facts I had given him. He has not yet done these things but hearing about these things from his peer group and was perhaps contemplating. It does take shock tactics. I recall seeing a picture of black lungs when I was young and seeing someone die of cigarettes and alcohol addiction so never smoked or got drunk.
Thanks for your talk.
Divorce …….
The Villager
Great news!!!! I would like to introduce Sheryl Hawkins to you. Last year a new program was launched for Grade 4 – 6 or 7 students called, “T.H.I.N.K. Day.” It is a softer version of, “Life’s Challenges in Secondary School” – Part 1. This was developed based on feedback from school administrators indicating that the younger students need to hear some of the information from the Part 1 session. Sheryl is a retired administrator and brings a wealth of knowledge to Life Synergy for Youth. In January, Sheryl presented to 450 Grade 4 – 6 students for the morning and according to the Principal you could have heard a pin drop, they were so quiet and fully engaged. Please check out THINK Day and Sheryl on the website.
Divorce and family stresses
After the holiday season the bills pile up and, in some cases, the stress increases. As a police officer I remember attending many more domestic incidents both before and after the Christmas holidays. There tends to be an increase in alcohol consumption, overspending and then after the holidays the happiness wore off and real life began again.
In the small group sessions I talk about my divorce and for over 10 years I have been asking this question, “How many of you are from divorced families?” I have had one group where no hands went up which shocked me and the adults that were in the room, and one group where over 20 out of 25 hands went up. Usually the number is 3 – 6 per small group. I talk a little about my divorce and how I believe I got married too young, I was 23 and had already been a police officer for 4 years. I thought I had it all together but what I realized was I really didn’t know who I was as a man until I was 28 to 30 years of age. I talk further about figuring out who you are as a person before you offer yourself up to someone in marriage. I ask those from divorced families to raise their hands if they want their future children to go through what they went through. I have never had a hand go up.
Divorce can be quite devastating to children; there are the exceptions where the children know it is for the best. Seek counselling or whatever you need to do make it work. If this doesn’t work and a divorce is inevitable then do whatever you have to make sure the children are not put in the middle. Many children let me know that when they go to mom’s house she questions them about what their father is doing and when they go to their dad’s house he questions them about what their mother is doing. Some children tell me that they are being put in the middle by their parents that are still married. Mom tells the child about the frustrations they have with the child’s father and the father tells the child about his frustration with the mother.
If you are doing this and you continue to do this, your children will resent you; you can’t put your children in the middle. Please consider seeking help such as a counselor to work through issues and frustrations, don’t put your children in the middle.
Coming soon:
Update – “Parenting with Eyes Wide Open”
I am hopeful that the book will be available around Spring Break. I have been overwhelmed and encouraged by the response from parents who are interested in having a copy of my book. I was recently contacted by a CTV News producer of the morning show that has requested an interview when the book is released.
Police Humour
The Digital World:
HONOLULU, Hawaii is now charging people that cross the street while texting. It is a small fine of $35.00 and goes up from there to nearly $100.00.
Digital Detox:
Recently I was in Hillmond, SK. where the Grade 8 students decided to give up their phones for an entire week, starting on Friday morning and going into the next week. The principal emailed me on Wednesday indicating that 81% of the students preferred not having the phones and 19% were having a hard time with it.
“It has been great. You actually get straight answers from people and it is helpful not having people take pictures of you. I’ve actually gotten closer to my friends”
“Without my phone I feel like more people have been interacting with each other more and more. It makes you realize that there is so much more to other people than you think.”
“Life without my phone has been so much better because you never have to think about checking it and everyone actually talks to you.”
“I’m doing great without my phone and this is a great experience.”
“I think that school is better without phones because people communicate more without them.”
“Life without my phone is really good because it seems like everyone is talking to each other more. It’s making a good impact in my life! (we should do it longer)”
“Life without my phone was actually great, I haven’t had to worry about what people say to me on it.”
“It has been great, people are interacting person to person. But it has not helped some problems.”
“I do not like it because when I am not doing anything I usually play on my phone but now I can’t because I do not have a phone.”
As I mentioned in the last Villager, Digital Detox anyone?
Testimonial of the month:
I recently had the pleasure of attending Dwayne Peace’s Life Synergy for Youth program at our school. The morning consisted of a 3 hour presentation-lecture by Dwayne for students grade 8-12 and the afternoon was a small group setting where I joined in with the grade 8/9’s.
As a teachers aid I found everything Dwayne discussed to be highly informative for the students and myself. It helped provide me with insight into what todays’ students are facing in our ever changing world as well as reaffirming age old dilemmas students have to face and how they can deal with life’s struggles.
The very first thing I noticed was Dwayne’s passion for what he is doing and how his life has led him to help the next generation deal with its hurdles and how to jump those hurdles through hard work, respect for oneself and others, and not being afraid to ask for help.
There was a lot of information brought to the students, but even after 3 hours of nonstop information they were all paying attention quite intently. Dwayne brings reality forward in a way that strikes a chord with everyone whether student or adult.
The afternoon group setting brought a lot of emotion from everyone involved. This brought the students closer to one another by understanding that everyone has issues in life. The teachers in our group also shared personal info and this helped the students realize we are human with our own struggles and it helped bridge the age gap between us. The group session helped the students realize the teachers
are giving on a daily basis for their education and life’s challenges ahead.
I recommend every student should have Dwayne’s program as a prerequisite in their schools curriculum on an ongoing basis, as life changes for every student daily and especially year to year. What Dwayne is doing is life altering, and even lifesaving and I have nothing but praise and respect for where his heart and life are
taking him to make other’s lives and the world a better place for all.
I sincerely wish this was available to me during my school years as it would have made a difference on so many facets of my own life. I suggest all parents, teachers and students should work together with Dwayne’s ideals.
Being Me…
I think the most important thing I learned is to help others and be myself!
-Grade 5/6 Student
This has been one of the best/emotional days of my life!
Today we had a guest speaker, his name is Dwayne Peace. He was a police officer who lives in Calgary who now speaks at schools about drugs, suicide, alcohol, and bullying. He touched a really deep place in my heart. I learnt a lot of new things like how to support someone who is having suicidal thoughts. He also told me that he believed in me and that I’m amazing. It has never felt so good to hear those words, they made me believe in myself. My social responsibility is that I feel I want to do that to other people. I want to boost their self confidence . I also want to be as positive as I can. I think the most important thing is that we are all equal. This has been one of the best/emotional days of my life!
–Grade 5/6 student
Right from the beginning I knew he was what my class needed.
Dwayne Peace visited my grade 5/6 classroom on a crazy Friday where the power was out, but luckily came on just before classes started. The hectic morning of wondering whether school was on or not really had everyone’s nerves heightened, not to mention it was Friday. When I met Dwayne for the first time, the first thing he said to me was, “your smile looks good on you”. Honestly, I will never forget that or the day i had with him and my grade 5/6 class. Right from the beginning I knew he was what my class needed. He has an empowering way of telling you the truth, lifting you up, and encouraging you to step out of your comfort zone because he believes you are capable of moving mountains, and making the world a better place. It only takes one person to make a change and he proves that with the impact he has left– not only on my students, but me as well. He’s inspired my students to make positive choices and has left the responsibility in their hands. I cannot thank him enough for his time and genuine impact.
–Jesse Sawka, Teacher at Hillmond Central School Grade 5/6