The Villager – Newsletter

Funding for schools continues into 2020!!!!! 

Book winter/spring dates for 2019-20 school year now

Student days, parent sessions, and P.D. Days.

Vaping

Due to the recent medical issues that have arisen in the media both in the US and Canada I have moved the information about vaping from my session, “The Truth About Cannabis and other Drugs” and added it to the most requested session, “Life’s Challenges in Secondary School.”  This decision was done based on how to get this information to the students in the quickest amount of time.

Initially, ENDS (Electronic Nicotine Delivery Systems) were developed to assist smokers in their efforts to stop smoking.  Research indicated that if this occurred within one month then it was a success.  If the use of ENDS went longer than a month then the user was simply changing one addiction for another.

As of October 15, 2019, 1,479 lung injury cases associated with the use of e-cigarette, or vaping, products have been reported to CDC from 49 states in the US and 33 deaths in 24 states.

Data on age and sex was only acquired on 1,358 of these people.

• 70% of patients are male.

• 79% of patients are under 35 years old.

By age group category:

• 15% of patients are under 18 years old;
• 21% of patients are 18 to 20 years old;
• 18% of patients are 21 to 24 years old;
• 25% of patients are 25 to 34 years old; and
• 21% of patients are 35 years or older.

In Canada, several lung related issues have been reported with no confirmed deaths, yet.

As many of us are aware nicotine is the addictive quality of tobacco and vaping.  Nicotine is a stimulant drug that speeds up the messages travelling between the brain and body.  It is at least as difficult to give up as heroin.

Nicotine salt is a chemical formulation of nicotine that decreases its harshness, allowing vapers to comfortably get more nicotine while inhaling less vapor.  This is the reason you see nicotine strengths jumping from 3 mg and 6 mg to 25 mg or even 60 mg in online shops.

A study last year in Alberta indicated that people that vape are twice as likely to start smoking and the first time in a number of years the rate of smokers increased.

A Little Vaping Rant:

I would suggest that if you were to relate the first death that occurred due to tobacco use to the first death due to vaping, the timeline would be significantly shorter with vaping.  If this is true, then we will witness multiple deaths every week in the US for many years to come and shortly a smaller number of weekly deaths in Canada.

A study done a few years ago with mice and vaping showed that the inner lining of the lungs was destroyed with vaping.  This occurred whether there was nicotine in the solution or no nicotine.  Research is showing that when the liquid is heated it is creating new chemicals that were not in the original solution.

With this in mind please consider the increased medical costs associate with vaping.  In 2012, Canada estimated tobacco use cost tax payers $6.5 billion in direct health care costs and $16.2 billion in total economic costs, including hospital costs, physicians, and prescription medications.  What will this cost be for vaping?  The question that remains to be asked is why?  Why does any government sanction a product that has already been shown to create this damage in people, including deaths in the US, of all ages.  If it is strictly used to assist someone with not smoking that is a victory.  However, to put a plan in place to reduce youth usage when there should not be any usage at all, with the above exception, seems to be a neglectful plan.

I do expand on the above information when I am speaking in schools.  I look forward to any opportunity of working in your communities.

Scholarship Recipient

Another year and a few more doors have opened with a few successes as well.  In June, Jacqueline and I had the pleasure of driving to Medicine Hat, AB to meet with a Graduating student whom was driving 4.0 hours from Biggar, SK to meet with us.  The request was to do a video interview based on her experience in the Part 2 small group session.  She did not realize she was about to receive a cheque for $2,165.00 from the charity, “Thumb Switch for Life” that my wife and I established in 2017 to go towards her fees at the University of Regina.  Savana is the first of many students that will be receiving scholarships from our charity over the years to come.

If you or anyone you knows would like to assist us in making life easier for some students through this charity both through scholarships and offsetting costs to schools, contact us so we can have further conversation to ensure that this works for all involved.  See the charities latest initiative 247 – 365 later in this newsletter.

Upcoming Event

I have the honour of presenting at the 6^th annual Fast and Female Summit on November 3^rd at WinSport in Calgary.  I will be speaking to coaches and parents of young female athletes.  If you have not heard of this event please feel free to check it out and register.  www.fastandfemale.com

Welcome:

We would like to welcome and thank ADMCo for getting involved in the above initiative.  Jordan, Nathan and Jon see value in the work we do and are stepping up to support the youth of Canada.  ADMCo (Alberta Digital Mining Company Inc.) is an Alberta based cryptocurrency mining company that is focused on securing bitcoin/altcoin networks to help facilitate the blockchain revolution.  Their involvement will increase the scholarship funds available for the winning student(s) and assist in decreasing the fees to qualifying schools.

We would also like to Welcome Brittany Veenhuysen to our team.  She will be working with me on the Social Media aspect of the business.  I am really excited to continue my work with Brittany as she was also the editor of my book.

New Initiative for Thumb Switch Charity:

A new video describing “Thumb Switch” has been added to the charity website (click here) for anyone who does not know what a “thumb switch” means.

A new initiative was launched in March called 24/7 – 365.  This relates to what many people reference as 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year.  The challenge is to raise money for scholarships and assist qualified schools funding for qualified youth programs.

24/7 – 24 corporations, businesses, foundations, families offer support for $700.00 to $7000.00.  When this is achieved it would allow scholarships for deserving students to go from $1,680.00 to $16,800.00 and would allow qualified schools access to $250.00 – $750.00 per day for youth programs.

365 – $300.00 from 65 businesses, foundations, families or individuals.  This would create an additional $1,950.00 for scholarships and qualified schools access to $250.00 per day for youth programs.

I hope you will spread the word and align yourself or company in this very worthwhile cause.

Thumb Switch

Gaming:

GRAND THEFT AUTO – San Andreas:  Rated 18+

If you have attended one of my parent sessions this is the GTA game I talk about during the parent session where you can kill up to 12 police officers, put on the uniform of a police officer, grab the keys to a police car, hop in the car and drive away.  The case I refer to involved Devin Moore who stated in the police station, “Life is a video game. You’ve got to die sometime.” He then grabbed the handgun of one of the police officers and shot its owner, another police officer and a dispatcher in a Fayette, Alabama police station before getting into the police car and driving away.  Sentenced to death by lethal injection and is presently on death row.

Review: Common Sense Media

Parents need to know that this game is raunchy and violent and portrays just about every deviant act that a criminal could think of in full, living 3-D graphics. Players participate in drive-by shootings, deliver prostitutes to their johns, kill mob bosses, hijack vehicles, and learn to operate within the criminal world.

The star rating given to this game is based on quality of gameplay within this adult genre of video gaming and is not an endorsement of the violence within the game.

In this game players must run, gun, and drive through a bustling city to perform missions such as knocking off a mob boss or preventing a truckload of ammunition from reaching its destination. Gamers play as Carl “CJ” Johnson, a young man who returns to the slums to avenge his mother’s murder with the help of his old gang. New gameplay features to the Grand Theft Auto series require players to perfect certain skills over time, such as hand-to-hand combat and driving. You must also earn “respect” with each mission; the more you gain, the more likely gang members will help you on missions.

Without question, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas isn’t for kids because of its graphic violence, sex, and coarse language, but mature fans of this 32 million-unit-selling franchise who want to know if this sequel lives up to its hype, the answer is a resounding yes. Few video games pull off everything successfully, but San Andreas does so in spades. Indeed, this mature-rated game may be deemed offensive for its depiction of life as a “gangbanger,” but if taken for what it is — an interactive action-adventure for adult gamers — you won’t find a title that’s more difficult to put down.

A decision for parents to make now or in the future depending on the age of your children.

NEW ADDITION:

“Parenting with Eyes Wide Open” was finished and printed in July, 2018.  At the request of parents, “Your Thumb Switch Study Guide to Permanent Change” has been developed to further assist parents.  This will provide a platform for parents to come together and discuss what seems to work and what doesn’t within their family and communities.

The Parent Study Guide will be available starting on November 1, 2019 through the website www.lifesynergy4youth.com .  The price is $14.95 per Study Guide, plus GST and $10.00 S&H for one or multiples of two books.   It has been suggested that each parent should have their own study guide to create a deeper and more meaningful conversation after each chapter is completed.  As is with the original book, the best deal will be at the parent sessions. It will be $10.00 per book, GST included.  The original book will still be available at parent sessions for $20.00 per book, GST included.

Testimonials of the month:

After going through the Thumb Switch Study Guide together, we noticed it opened the door to a lot of communication about our children regarding topics we hadn’t previously considered. It got us thinking, feeling and talking, about things we notice with each of our children, and in turn how we have handled it in the past and/or could handle it in the future. It encouraged us to look ahead to situations that are in our not so distant future, that we hadn’t even begun to consider, and make preparations for how we plan to handle them.

Our kids fill our days with busy schedules and add an element of chaos. We so often take the stance of “divide and conquer” just to share the load and make sure everyone’s needs are met. Reviewing this together gave us the opportunity to reflect on our parenting strategies as a team. We were able to share ideas and honestly discuss what we felt was effective and what needed to change. We immediately noticed growth within our relationship as a couple. We found that the prompts in the Thumb Switch guide led us into a conversation we hadn’t had before. Sharing the common goal of safer, happier, healthier children enabled through our support and actions made us feel connected in a way we hadn’t felt prior to having this conversation.  Thanks for the opportunity!

Robin – Acting Lieutenant, Calgary Fire Department (Dad) and Angie – Financial Planner (Mom)

Children, their parents and suicide….

There is a trend which I am witnessing, and that is when a child comes forward with their thoughts of suicide the last thing they want is for their parents to find out.  As we know, legally this is not an option, and the parents are notified.  The reason youth don’t want their parent to know is simple.  Based on their past experiences, they anticipate that all of the relatives and family friends will be told.  This is not what they want nor need.  They need you to be there for them and not broadcast it.

Some students say that their parents won’t take it seriously and, in some cases, I have seen that this is an accurate assessment.  Whether you see it as a cry for help or attention, the consequences of being wrong could be life ending for the child and life altering for all involved.  This is one of those times where they need you the most as they believe, in many cases; if they died nobody would notice.  This is a time to remain calm and not overreact.  A serious adult like conversation needs to occur between the child and the parents to discover what is causing the distress. Sometimes professional help is required facilitate a healthy conversation. Aren’t our kids worth it?

Goal update – In December of 2016 I challenged myself to bench 300lbs before I turn 60.  On September 11 of 2017 I was able to bench 300lbs twice.  My new goal became 315lbs equalling my personal best.  On May 11, I benched 315lbs and then 320lbs my new personal best.  Unfortunately, on Father’s Day I was in the hospital having emergency abdominal surgery.  I am now back in the weight room setting new goals weekly working to get back up into the 300lb area before I turn 60.

Police Humour:

When told, 20 year old Alex of Hunt Street, that a woman had identified him as one of three men who burst into an apartment on Court Street last Saturday night and the held the occupants at gunpoint, he said that was impossible.

“How could she tell it was me?  I had a mask on,” he reportedly told police.

6 Reasons Why I Got Into Law Enforcement:

1. I hate sleep
2. I love to work holidays
3. I can’t live without stress
4. I love being underpaid
5. I wanted to have a disturbed family life
6. I didn’t want to hang out with my friends anymore

“Parenting with Eyes Wide Open” was finished and printed in July, 2018.  The response has been overwhelming and humbling.  After receiving many requests from parents, teaching professionals and others with an invested interest in youth, a study guide is being developed to further assist readers.  This will provide a platform for parents to come together and discuss what seems to work and what doesn’t within their communities.

Recently I was presenting to schools within Cold Lake and Bonnyville, and had the opportunity to present two parent sessions with a total of approximately 60 people.  Attendees were purchasing two or three books so they could share with others. It was overwhelming to receive such a positive response. Thank you!  The book is available on Kindle; through the website www.lifesynergy4youth.com; and at Indigo located on 130^th Ave S.E. Calgary.  The best deal is to purchase a book at a parent session which is $20.00 per book, GST included.

Testimonials of the month:

This powerful day provides students and staff with information that can help transform the culture in any school and community. Through our words and actions, we have the ability to make a positive difference in our families, our school and our community.

Some comments about THINK Day:

“The philosophy of THINK is empowering and I think that the more we can educate children on the reality of the world they live in, the better.”  Teacher

“Something that stuck with the students was that if the bystanders intervened, then bullying/fighting would not happen.”  Teacher

“I feel that Sheryl did a great job making it real for the students and giving a face to the victims of bullying and the impact it can have on a community.”  Teacher

“She (Sheryl) really gets into it. She doesn’t just say ‘don’t bully’. You can tell she really cares about it.” Student

I absolutely love your book and I couldn’t put it down.  I read it while I was on holidays and I am reading it a second time.  I am bending over pages and highlighting areas of the book.  This book really spoke to me as a parent and made me think about my childhood.  Every parent needs to read this book.  You really put yourself out there in this book.  Thank you for doing this for us.  I am a better parent already as a result of this book.

Mom of three

I am attending more and more schools where a high percentage of students are struggling with anxiety and depression. A couple of years ago I shared the study from Duke University and I think it warrants looking at it again.

Before I share that research, as parents we need to be aware of how much time our children are spending in their bedrooms.  When adults suffer with depression they will spend most of their time in their house and too many hours lying in bed.  Research indicates that this is when we need to get out of the bedroom and the house and spend face to face time with our social network of friends.  I don’t think that it is any different with todays’ youth and young adults.  During my assembly, I ask students to raise their hands if they spend too much time in bed; usually over 30% of the hands go up.  I tell them to get out of the bedroom, as it is for sleeping, go to the kitchen or living room and engage with your family.

Researchers took a group of 156 people that were suffering with depression and separated them into three groups.  One group was given medication, the second group a combination of medication and an exercise program, and the third group only an exercise program.  The exercise was three times a week and only 45 minutes per session.  The study continued for 4 months and when they were done all three groups were fairly equal in the level of success that they had attained.  After the study was completed, researchers returned six months later to follow up with the participants.  Some people had dropped off but there was enough for the study to be valid.

Group #1 (medication only) – 38% had fallen back into depression

Group #2 (medication and exercise) – 31% had fallen back into depression

Group #3 – (exercise only) – 8% had fallen back into depression

Physical activity is not only for the body but also the mind and the spirit.  When we exercise our bodies release endorphins which directly affect our mood.  What are endorphins? They are a group of hormones released within the brain; in large amounts they can make you feel relaxed or rejuvenated, basically feel good.

What do you have to do?  They hardest part is getting started, getting moving.  Here are a few ideas, a brisk daily walk, going to a gym, joining a group exercise class, a bike ride, a jog.  Whatever you do make it part of your daily or weekly routine.

Research has proven that what we eat directly correlates with how we feel.  Have you ever eaten or drank something and afterwards you feel blah or crappy, and you think why did I do that? That’s your body talking to you.  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day as it has been many hours since we last ate.  Nourishing our bodies with the right food will give us the energy to take on what life gives us.

Sleep, too much or too little sleep can cause imbalance. Restful sleep is key as adults require 7-9 hours and  school-age children require 9-11 hours.  Teens require 8-10 hours but try telling them that, might explain why they can sleep till noon on the weekends.  But sleep is food for the brain, it can help you to eat better and manage stress.  So how do we get a good sleep?  Nutrition, physical activity, meditation or “me time”.  The National Sleep Foundation has a good article worth the read, titled Teens and Sleep.   https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/teens-and-sleep

Being the inspiration for someone else can be rejuvenating, it takes the focus off ourselves. When we become focused on someone else, we can forget about our own challenges for a while.  Make a difference in the world even if it’s in a small way. A man by the name of Ghandi once said “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in others.”

Maintaining balance is giving time to all aspects of your life: spiritual, emotional, family, career, physical, mental. It’s easy to allow one area to slowly takeover the others and be out of balance.  The point is our kids, as well as ourselves, need to be aware that it is a combination of the above things.  Start with one aspect of maintaining balance and then build on it.  It is a process, be kind to yourself.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ―C. S. Lewis

Coming soon: 

We have started an Instagram page; so far we are posting positive sayings and encouragement.  Check us out at lifesynergy4youth

You can also check out our Facebook page

Police Humour – New Police Interrogation Technique

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a line-up.

When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words, ‘Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,’ the man shouted, ‘That’s not what I said!’

Family time:

Based on the depression and anxiety information provided at the beginning of this newsletter I feel that maybe the family time tip needs to be activity based.  Depending what’s available in your area, go skating during public ice time, a bike ride, walk, a hike, check out a local event in your area or a day trip to another town.  Get them out of the bedroom.

Testimonial of the month:

I attended your drug talk last night. I also work on the acute psychiatric wards at our local Wellness Institute and would like very much to share some of your information with our acute clients many of whom endorse cannabis as good for their mental health.  I thought your information was very powerful and easy to understand. Some of our service users self-medicate with it and worsen their condition.  Some belief that cannabis is healthier than cigarettes.  Often they see no connection between increased use and admission to hospital for psychosis.

I would greatly appreciate if you would send me some information from your talk such as the photograph of the man showing the equivalence of cigarettes to one joint and the graphs with the threshold levels changing and gateway to other drug use.  I will also forward your contact to the Turning Point and Child and Adolescent services so they can access you online.

I would like to thank you for speaking to my children.  They are well versed in knowing not to take drugs given Mum’s work… they don’t want to become one of Mum’s patients.  My son told me last night ‘I’ll never take drugs’  this was a relief to hear as I was concerned that he was beginning to believe that cannabis was safer than cigarettes (they hear and see fake facts depicted on the internet) and that perhaps vaping was ok.  He was even beginning to question the advice and facts I had given him.  He has not yet done these things but hearing about these things from his peer group and was perhaps contemplating.  It does take shock tactics.  I recall seeing a picture of black lungs when I was young and seeing someone die of cigarettes and alcohol addiction so never smoked or got drunk.

Thanks for your talk.

The Villager

Great news!!!!  I would like to introduce Sheryl Hawkins to you.  Last year a new program was launched for Grade 4 – 6 or 7 students called, “T.H.I.N.K. Day.”  It is a softer version of, “Life’s Challenges in Secondary School” – Part 1.  This was developed based on feedback from school administrators indicating that the younger students need to hear some of the information from the Part 1 session.  Sheryl is a retired administrator and brings a wealth of knowledge to Life Synergy for Youth.  In January, Sheryl presented to 450 Grade 4 – 6 students for the morning and according to the Principal you could have heard a pin drop, they were so quiet and fully engaged.  Please check out THINK Day and Sheryl on the website.

Divorce and family stresses

After the holiday season the bills pile up and, in some cases, the stress increases.  As a police officer I remember attending many more domestic incidents both before and after the Christmas holidays.  There tends to be an increase in alcohol consumption, overspending and then after the holidays the happiness wore off and real life began again.

In the small group sessions I talk about my divorce and for over 10 years I have been asking this question, “How many of you are from divorced families?”  I have had one group where no hands went up which shocked me and the adults that were in the room, and one group where over 20 out of 25 hands went up.  Usually the number is 3 – 6 per small group.  I talk a little about my divorce and how I believe I got married too young, I was 23 and had already been a police officer for 4 years.  I thought I had it all together but what I realized was I really didn’t know who I was as a man until I was 28 to 30 years of age.  I talk further about figuring out who you are as a person before you offer yourself up to someone in marriage.  I ask those from divorced families to raise their hands if they want their future children to go through what they went through.  I have never had a hand go up.

Divorce can be quite devastating to children; there are the exceptions where the children know it is for the best.  Seek counselling or whatever you need to do make it work.  If this doesn’t work and a divorce is inevitable then do whatever you have to make sure the children are not put in the middle.  Many children let me know that when they go to mom’s house she questions them about what their father is doing and when they go to their dad’s house he questions them about what their mother is doing.  Some children tell me that they are being put in the middle by their parents that are still married.  Mom tells the child about the frustrations they have with the child’s father and the father tells the child about his frustration with the mother.

If you are doing this and you continue to do this, your children will resent you;  you can’t put your children in the middle.  Please consider seeking help such as a counselor to work through issues and frustrations, don’t put your children in the middle.

Coming soon: 

Update – “Parenting with Eyes Wide Open”

I am hopeful that the book will be available around Spring Break.  I have been overwhelmed and encouraged by the response from parents who are interested in having a copy of my book. I was recently contacted by a CTV News producer of the morning show that has requested an interview when the book is released.

Police Humour

The Digital World:

HONOLULU, Hawaii is now charging people that cross the street while texting.  It is a small fine of $35.00 and goes up from there to nearly $100.00.

Digital Detox:

Recently I was in Hillmond, SK. where the Grade 8 students decided to give up their phones for an entire week, starting on Friday morning and going into the next week.  The principal emailed me on Wednesday indicating that 81% of the students preferred not having the phones and 19% were having a hard time with it.

“It has been great.  You actually get straight answers from people and it is helpful not having people take pictures of you.  I’ve actually gotten closer to my friends”

“Without my phone I feel like more people have been interacting with each other more and more.  It makes you realize that there is so much more to other people than you think.”

“Life without my phone has been so much better because you never have to think about checking it and everyone actually talks to you.”

“I’m doing great without my phone and this is a great experience.”

“I think that school is better without phones because people communicate more without them.”

“Life without my phone is really good because it seems like everyone is talking to each other more.  It’s making a good impact in my life! (we should do it longer)”

“Life without my phone was actually great, I haven’t had to worry about what people say to me on it.”

“It has been great, people are interacting person to person.  But it has not helped some problems.”

“I do not like it because when I am not doing anything I usually play on my phone but now I can’t because I do not have a phone.”

As I mentioned in the last Villager, Digital Detox anyone?

Testimonial of the month:

I recently had the pleasure of attending Dwayne Peace’s Life Synergy for Youth program at our school.  The morning consisted of a 3 hour presentation-lecture by Dwayne for students grade 8-12 and the afternoon was a small group setting where I joined in with the grade 8/9’s.

As a teachers aid I found everything Dwayne discussed to be highly informative for the students and myself.  It helped provide me with insight into what todays’ students are facing in our ever changing world as well as reaffirming age old dilemmas students have to face and how they can deal with life’s struggles.

The very first thing I noticed was Dwayne’s passion for what he is doing and how his life has led him to help the next generation deal with its hurdles and how to jump those hurdles through hard work, respect for oneself and others, and not being afraid to ask for help.

There was a lot of information brought to the students, but even after 3 hours of nonstop information they were all paying attention quite intently.  Dwayne brings reality forward in a way that strikes a chord with everyone whether student or adult.

The afternoon group setting brought a lot of emotion from everyone involved. This brought the students closer to one another by understanding that everyone has issues in life. The teachers in our group also shared personal info and this helped the students realize we are human with our own struggles and it helped bridge the age gap between us. The group session helped the students realize the teachers
are giving on a daily basis for their education and life’s challenges ahead.

I recommend every student should have Dwayne’s program as a prerequisite in their schools curriculum on an ongoing basis, as life changes for every student daily and especially year to year.  What Dwayne is doing is life altering, and even lifesaving and I have nothing but praise and respect for where his heart and life are
taking him to make other’s lives and the world a better place for all.

I sincerely wish this was available to me during my school years as it would have made a difference on so many facets of my own life.  I suggest all parents, teachers and students should work together with Dwayne’s ideals.

The Villager

Are you and your teens due for a “Digital Detox”?

This summer I traveled down to Southern Utah for a month of camping and work.  I was on course for most of the month, “Golf Course” that is.  The last week of my time in Utah my 15 year old daughter joined me who, in my opinion, was in dire need of a Digital Detox.  The nice thing about the horrendous roaming charges in the U.S. is that it gives us as parents an excuse not to allow them to use their phones too much.  You have to make sure to avoid the areas that have free WI-Fi, like Walmart and McDonald’s, but it can be done.  This was a time for the “Three F’s” – Forced – Family – Fun.  We rented a jet ski for a day, spent a day of window shopping where a few items were purchased, and went hiking through Zion Canyon.  You can check out the Gallery on the website to see some of the pictures.  We then left for a week in Boise, Idaho where my wife joined us for another week on limited cellphone use.  We rented a paddle board for a day and did some more hiking.  We then slowly made our way home back to reality.

So what did I witness?  Basically I was able to get my daughter back.  Grade 10 was a not a good year for her and resulted in summer school, a change of schools, and new friendships being made.  The Digital Detox was the cherry on the top.  While on holidays some heart to heart talks were had between the two of us at a level that we have not gone to in the past.  We have had a good relationship but this went to another level.  Some promises and expectations were made and consequences discussed including the loss of her phone for a very long time if things went back to the old way.

Now when I do something for her she says thank you.  When my wife drives her around she gives a heartfelt thank you which is not what was occurring before.  She now hugs me instead of the other way around and will drive with me on some of the errands I have to do.

I was able to use the trip to implement the Digital Detox and it made it much easier for her to accept.  But it is something that needed to happen.  The question I ask is “Do you need a Digital Detox for you and your family?”  I have met many people that are frustrated with their spouse’s social media usage or the video gaming or gambling or pornography.  Some of these are resulting in the end of marriages because of the addiction to the digital world.  Please consider this for your family’s sake.

Coming soon: 

Foundation:  My wife and I met with a lawyer this summer with the goal of setting up a foundation.  The name is “Thumb Switch for Life” and it is a very long process.  If it is up a running by December of 2018 then we are doing well.  The foundation will allow potential donors to obtain a tax receipt when they donate.  The purpose of the Foundation is to provide scholarships to students that are doing very well in school but when you look at their home life and the support they have you wonder how they made it this far.  These students are amazing and could qualify for post-secondary schooling but chances are it will not happen for them and it is mainly due to finances.  This we hope will alleviate some of that obstacle.

The second purpose is raise money for all schools across Canada to assist financially for them to host Life Synergy workshops.  There are two things that prevent programming from getting into school and changing and saving lives; the first is finances and the second is class time.  If financial assistance can be provided then there is one less obstacle to overcome.

A Book for Parents?

If you recall in the June edition of The Villager, I mentioned that I had a goal of writing a book for parents based on the number of requests I was getting from session attendees.  The purpose of camping for a month down south was to complete this book.  The book is done and in the hands of the editor.  I have no idea what the time line is but it will be posted on the website when it becomes available.  The editor read it for the first time and commented that it took her right back to her high school days, so I think that is a positive.

Police Humour

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I’m too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, “Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day, sir,” replied the trooper.

Testimonial of the month:

Out of the Blue

I am currently a university student studying sociology and women and gender studies.  During my seminar today, my professor asked the question, “What kind of mental health resources did your middle/high schools have?  If there was, was there anything that really made an impact on you?”  I instantly thought of your name, and “Life Synergy for Youth”, and knew I had to email you.  You came to my middle school 7 years ago, and then to my high school 5 years ago in Bermuda.  I haven’t heard your name in five years, and yet I instantly thought of you.  During that period of my life, I was severely depressed with self-harm problems, and had attempted suicide by overdosing twice.  It was your presentation that made me feel like I wasn’t totally alone in this world, and that my feelings were valid.  I remember a specific photo you showed in your slide show; it was of the assets a teenager who committed suicide.  One of their belongings, their wallet, was the same one I had…and that hit home.  Your presentation and workshops changed my life, and stopped a very possible suicide death.  I am 21 now, have an amazing, supportive partner, in my fourth year at University, happy, and working on my mental health every day.  After I graduate this year, I am going to get my certificate in mental health and addiction services.  I would like to do what you do, and work with youth to prevent kids from having to go through what I went through.  You truly inspired me, and I cannot express my gratitude for you, and your amazing programs.  Thank you for saving and changing lives with every presentation, every workshop, and every meeting with a student you have.  You truly do save lives.

I hope to one day meet you and thank you in person, but until then, I hope you have a great evening and live the happiest life you can.

As parents are we afraid to parent?

There seems to be a continuing trend over the past few years, the trend being, parents are afraid to parent.  Many parents come up to me after a parent session and thank me for confirming that they are doing a good job with their children.  I still work in schools where students are calling home and telling, not asking, telling their parents to sign them out so they can be excused from the presentation because they don’t want to be there.  And the parents make the call.  In many cases staff will confirm that this is a student who really needed to be in the session.

Parenting is not a democracy.  Sometimes doing the right thing in not the easiest thing to do.  The latest wrinkle in parenting is the barrage of outside issues due to the digital world.  The digital world needs to be controlled and since the students can’t do it for themselves then it is up to the parents to do it for them.  What I have learned is that many of the attitudes and behavioural issues parents are experiencing from their teens could be minimized if not eliminated by controlling their digital devices.  I refer to it as an addiction so it easy for others to relate to but it is actually screen dependency.

Many students admit to me that they get home and go straight to their bedroom and close the door.  However in the same breath they are wishing they were closer to their parents.  I strongly suggest, as many medical professionals have, that bedrooms be used for sleeping only and to find a quiet place in the house for completing school assignments and studying.  Some students complain that the noise is too much in the house for them to do school work.  This is something that a family conversation could resolve or a plan put in place to minimize the amount of time they spend in their bedrooms.

Have you heard of the saying “The school of hard knocks”?  It refers to life.  As parents we are not doing our children any favours allowing undesired behaviours and habits going unchecked, swept under the carpet.  Consequences are a part of life, should we not start teaching that to our children in the safety of the family environment? We all want our children to be successful regardless of where they go or what they do.  The consequences don’t necessarily need to be harsh, just appropriate and consistent.  When my daughter went through a phase of slamming her bedroom door, it got removed for a few days, a little conversation took place and then replaced…until the next time.  It was a short phase.

Please remember I am only an e-mail away to discuss choices and consequences.

Coming soon: 

Grade 4 – 6 Student Day:  I have rolled out a new day based on feedback from several school staff across western Canada.  Their requests and comments were that younger students need to hear some of the information presented to the older students.  This will be described in greater detail on the website over the summer but so far the feedback has been exceptional.  Many schools are already booking this day for their students.  If you have any questions please contact me to book in the fall or check it out on the website.

A Book for Parents?  After many parent sessions I have been asked, “Do you have a book?”  Hopefully by the time the New Year rolls around, I will not answer that question with a “no” anymore.  My goal this summer is to finish writing a book based on the Parent session.  Some of the proceeds of the sales will go toward scholarships for deserving students that I encounter through Life Synergy for Youth across Canada.

Did you know?

WARNING SIGNS!!!!   Experts are advising us of some health issues they see occurring or will occur in the future based on screen dependency.

An increase of osteoporosis?  Since youth are not outside playing, running, biking, etc. the bones are not developing and maturing the way that they should.  This is going to result in an increase of osteoporosis as they get older.

Heard of Tech neck? This is a condition due to poor posture when hunched over using digital devices and video games.

There are and will be issues with overuse of the thumbs due to the video games and texting on a phone or tablet.

Family time:

What are you doing for yourself and your loved ones?  If you are not taking care of yourself or those around you then how can you be there for your family?  One of the best gifts I thought of getting my wife was a flight from Calgary to Abbottsford so she could spend an extended weekend with her sister.  When my wife returned from Abbottsford she indicated that she was glad I recognized that she needed this trip.  She didn’t realize the pressure she was living with until it was taken away from her albeit for a brief but well deserved extended weekend.    What are you doing for your spouse?  There is no way that I could what I do if it was not for my wife.  She is basically a single parent during the school months as I am always on the road.  Now a flight might not be in the books for everyone, but what about a spa treatment or a “Pillow Gift”.  From personal experience if you put a chocolate bar under the pillow let your spouse know, melted chocolate is not a mess you want to clean up. Remember, an act of thoughtfulness or kindness may be just what someone needs to carry on.

 Testimonial of the month:

Following a P.D. Day.

Hello Dwayne!

I hope wherever you are as you read this your journeys are safe and peaceful.  In the authenticity of what happened on Friday, especially the last part of the afternoon, I was too preoccupied with a particular individual to have said a proper thank you and goodbye.

For starters, I’ve been at this school for 10 years now and by far, your presentation was the single most powerful thing that has ever happened to our staff.  Ever.  Let that sink in for a minute.  You gave us a breath of air that we have vitally needed longer than I care to admit.  We have never bonded as a “group” … or at least not in a long, long time.  Thank you for that.  It was so CRITICALLY necessary.

Secondly, your candor and spirit is not only infectious – it’s life changing (as your business card promises).  Seriously.  Thank you so much for facilitating a “safe space” that will lead the way to long-overdue healing and connection.  You truly have found your calling and I hope our paths will cross again – sooner than later!

If ever you find yourself looking for a place to hang your hat or have a chat – don’t be a stranger!  Thanks again for everything you did.

Cheers!!

This is a question that was put forward in the February 2016 edition of “The Villager”.  At that time I had just returned from spending three amazing days with Dr. Shelley Hymel from UBC, where we collectively finished developing five surveys aimed at student, staff and parent perspectives.  This was created in order for me to evaluate the effectiveness of this program that I am so passionate about.  The compilation of results was prepared for Life Synergy for Youth by Dr. Shelley Hymel and the Social Emotional and Educational Development (SEED) Lab of the University of British Columbia, 2016.  The surveys were conducted in schools between February and May of 2016.

I have had a few conversations with educators at all levels about programs they have had in their schools during their careers.  One question I ask them is “what are the numbers they needed to see before they will look further into hosting a program in their schools or school districts?”  Some indicated that if it was above 50% they would look further, the most common number I heard was 75% or above.  Please keep that in mind as you read through this abbreviated version of the Survey Results.

A huge thank you to Dr. Shelley Hymel for believing in me and what I do; to her team for supporting her through this process and the thousands of comments they had to process;  and to all the staff and students that allowed me to conduct this questionnaire within their schools.  I hope that with this information more schools will now see the change that can be made within their community.  I have always had plenty of qualitative information to provide to inquiring schools, and now, I have the quantitative information to support the program’s success.

STUDENTS FOLLOWING THE ASSEMBLY:

Compared to other assemblies, the vast majority of participating students agreed or strongly agreed that the Life Synergy workshop was valuable (97%), thought-provoking (95%), provided important information (97%), and helped them to realize that they have autonomy in making decisions about their own lives (94%).

Overall, the majority of participating students rated the Life Synergy workshop as effective (agree or strongly agree) in addressing real student concerns (96%), creating more respect among students (91%), creating more respect between students and teachers (85%), helping students to see each other differently (92%) and helping individual students realize that they have autonomy in making decisions about their own lives (94%).

Most students who attended the Life Synergy workshop reported that they were more likely to make changes in their life based on what they learned in the workshop (87%). Similarly, most students indicated that they would be more likely to seek out an adult for help at school (78%), and would be more likely to support other students in need whether or not they knew them well (93%).

Most youth indicated that they would recommend the Life Synergy workshop for other schools (95%), and would want to have more assemblies like this for their own school (87%). Youth were somewhat more likely to indicate willingness to attend similar sessions on drugs (81%) and alcohol (80%) compared to tobacco (73%).

STUDENTS FOLLOWING THE SMALL GROUP SESSION:

A majority of participating students agreed or strongly agreed that the small group session was valuable (98%), thought-provoking (98%), provided important information (99%), and helped them to realize that they have autonomy in making decisions about their own lives (97%).

Overall, the vast majority of participating students rated the small group session as effective in creating the foundation for school change (98%), improving the culture of their school (97%), creating more respect among students (99%), creating more respect between students and teachers (99%), and helping students to see each other differently (98%).

Most students who attended the small group session reported that they were more likely (agree or strongly agree) to make changes in their life based on what they learned in the session (94%). Similarly, most students indicated (agree or strongly agree) that they would be more likely to seek out an adult for help at school (88%), and would be more likely to support other students in need whether or not they knew them well (97%).

Most youth indicated that they would recommend the small group session for other schools (99%), would like to attend a similar small group session (89%), and that other students should have the opportunity to attend a small group session in the future (99%). Students also agreed that they believed that if all students in their school attended a small group session it would have a major impact on their school (97%).

STAFF FOLLOWING THE ASSEMBLY:

All participating staff members agreed or strongly agreed that the Life Synergy workshop was valuable (100%), thought-provoking (100%), and provided important information (99%). Few teachers found the workshop boring (9%).

A majority of staff rated the Life Synergy workshop as effective (agree or strongly agree) in addressing real student concerns (100%), creating more respect among students (98%), creating more respect between students and teachers (95%), and helping school staff to see each other differently (85%).

Most staff indicated (agree or strongly agree) that they would recommend the Life Synergy workshop for other schools (98%), and would want to have more assemblies like this for their own school (97%). Similar to students, staff members were more likely to indicate willingness to attend similar sessions on drugs (96%) and alcohol (98%) compared to tobacco (82%).

STAFF FOLLOWING THE SMALL GROUP SESSION:

All participating staff members agreed or strongly agreed that the Life Synergy small group session was valuable (100%), thought-provoking (100%), and provided important information (100%). Few teachers found the small group session boring (7%).

All of the participating staff rated the Life Synergy small group session as effective (agree or strongly agree) in addressing creating the foundations for school change (100%), improving the culture of their school (100%), creating more respect among students (100%), creating more respect between students and teachers (100%), and helping school staff to see each students differently (98%).

After attending the small group session, a majority of participating staff members indicated (agree or strongly agree) that they would be more likely to make changes in how they relate to students (99%), and other staff (93%).

All of the participating staff indicated that they would recommend the Life Synergy small group session for other schools (100%), would like to attend another small group session (100%), and the majority agreed that all students should have the opportunity to attend a similar small group session in the future (100%). All participating staff indicated that they felt their school would be substantially impacted if every student had the opportunity to participate in the Life Synergy small group session (100%).

PARENTS / GUARDIANS FOLLOWING THE PARENT PRESENTATION:

The options provided to this group were as follows: Not At All, Somewhat, Moderately, Extremely

A majority of workshop attendees rated the parent/guardian workshop as moderately to extremely valuable (99%).

The options provided for this question was a simple Yes or No.

Participants overwhelmingly indicated that the parent/guardian workshop provided information that would help them to be better caregivers (99%), were happy that their school hosted the workshops for parents (100%) and students (100%), and would recommend the workshop to other schools (99%).

Coming soon: 

www.gofundme.com/lifesynergy – This Go-Fund-Me (GFM) was initiated by Heather McMillan in November and has now hit the web. There are two things that prevent Life Synergy from getting into schools, financial reasons and giving up class time.  If this fund can take care of the financial issue then giving up class time becomes an easier decision for schools to make.  All donations big and small will make a huge difference.  If everyone who saw the GFM initiative gave only $2.00 and then passed it on to all of their contacts recommending or challenging them to match their $2.00 donation then the fees could be reduced to a point where schools could not say no.  100% of the funds received will ONLY be used to offset school session fees.  Please help me help others.

Did you know?

Just before Christmas I was contacted by Alexandra Roberts, a college student here in Calgary who was looking for a practicum opportunity.  Following our conversation she is now a practicum student with Life Synergy for Youth, so you will see some changes coming soon with the presentations, slides, statistics, etc.  We are both really excited to be working together.

Family time:

As a member of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS) I have the opportunity to listen to some amazing people.  I was able to meet one such person and asked her for permission to share the following as it really struck me.  These are things that we can all change in our day to day lives in the family and our workplaces.

When you were growing up did you ever hear any of the following?

Don’t be a know it all              Be happy with what you have             Be quiet

Keep peace at any cost            Don’t be too bright                                Be good

Do what you are told to do     You think you are so smart                 Why would you do that

You can’t do that                     We can’t afford it

What if you were raised hearing the following:

Be proud of who you are and what you know                        You make a difference

You are wise                            You are amazing                        You count

Trust that you will know what to do next                                Think big

You are amazing                      That was a great decision        Speak your truth

Testimonial of the month:

In January our Principal is meeting with our parent council and will propose to them that the money they raise from our Fun Lunch program be used to address mental health issues here at our school. One excellent way to address mental health issues is to have you do your sessions with our grade 8 students. So we would like to present to them what you do and why we think this is a great mental health initiative.

Teacher at a Junior High School